(WorkPoop.com)
Top 10 Reasons why girls are like poop:
10. Both are innapropraite to do in public.
9. Neither are pleasant after a long night of drinking.
8. They are more enjoyable when you leave them after you're finished.
7. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
6. Nobody wants a big one but we've all had one.
5. Nobody likes a messy one.
4. They're more pleasant in silence.
3. You can get in trouble for throwing them.
2. Both require some type of towel when your done.
1. Both are a pain in the ass.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
All In The Name
(TampaBay.com)
Man named Beverage charged with DUI
ST. PETERSBURG -- A 50-year-old Chesapeake, Va., man with an unfortunate last name -- given the circumstances -- was arrested at Third Street and 51st Avenue N around 3 a.m. last night after a breath-alcohol test asserted he was at nearly three times the limit at which a driver is considered impaired by the state of Florida.
Randy Joe Beverage, who registered alcohol levels of 0.230 and 0.194, was charged with driving under the influence and possession of a controlled substance after he was found with less than a gram of oxycodone without a prescription.
He is being held in Pinellas County Jail on $2,500 bond ($500 for the DUI).
Man named Beverage charged with DUI
ST. PETERSBURG -- A 50-year-old Chesapeake, Va., man with an unfortunate last name -- given the circumstances -- was arrested at Third Street and 51st Avenue N around 3 a.m. last night after a breath-alcohol test asserted he was at nearly three times the limit at which a driver is considered impaired by the state of Florida.
Randy Joe Beverage, who registered alcohol levels of 0.230 and 0.194, was charged with driving under the influence and possession of a controlled substance after he was found with less than a gram of oxycodone without a prescription.
He is being held in Pinellas County Jail on $2,500 bond ($500 for the DUI).
Friday, May 22, 2009
Green Day vs. Walmart
(AP) NEW YORK — Green Day has the most popular CD in the country, but you won't be able to find it at your local Wal-Mart.
The band says the giant superstore chain refused to stock its latest CD, "21st Century Breakdown," because Wal-Mart wanted the album edited for language and content, and they refused.
"Wal-Mart's become the biggest retail outlet in the country, but they won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong said in a recent interview.
While Wal-Mart sells CDs from acts known for raunchy content, including Eminem's latest, they offer customers the "clean" version of those CDs, which are edited for content that may be objectionable. But in Armstrong's view, "There's nothing dirty about our record."
"They want artists to censor their records in order to be carried in there," he said. "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something."
"21st Century Breakdown" contains curses and some references considered adult.
Wal-Mart said that it's the company's long-standing policy not to stock any CD with a parental advisory sticker.
"As with all music, it is up to the artist or label to decide if they want to market different variations of an album to sell, including a version that would remove a PA rating," Wal-Mart spokeswoman Melissa O'Brien said. "The label and artist in this case have decided not to do so, so we unfortunately can not offer the CD."
But bassist Mike Dirnt said: "As the biggest record store in the America,they should probably have an obligation to sell people the correct art."
Not being sold at Wal-Mart didn't stop the band — which kicks off a U.S. tour summer tour in Seattle on July 3 — from landing at the top of the album charts this week. "21st Century Breakdown" sold about 215,000 copies since it's debut on Friday.
The album is the follow-up to their multiplatinum, Grammy-winning CD "American Idiot," and like that album, deals with weighty topics. While "American Idiot" spoke to the frustration over the presidency of George W. Bush and the Iraq War, this CD speaks to the loss of innocence and confusion in today's society.
While Armstrong, Dirnt and drummer Tre Cool are still top-sellers without Wal-Mart, Armstrong said the store's policy is disappointing, considering it has become the dominant seller of CDs with the decline of traditional music stores.
"If you think about bands that are struggling or smaller than Green Day ... to think that to get your record out in places like that, but they won't carry it because of the content and you have to censor yourself," he said. "I mean, what does that say to a young kid who's trying to speak his mind making a record for the first time? It's like a game that you have to play. You have to refuse to play it."
The band says the giant superstore chain refused to stock its latest CD, "21st Century Breakdown," because Wal-Mart wanted the album edited for language and content, and they refused.
"Wal-Mart's become the biggest retail outlet in the country, but they won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong said in a recent interview.
While Wal-Mart sells CDs from acts known for raunchy content, including Eminem's latest, they offer customers the "clean" version of those CDs, which are edited for content that may be objectionable. But in Armstrong's view, "There's nothing dirty about our record."
"They want artists to censor their records in order to be carried in there," he said. "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something."
"21st Century Breakdown" contains curses and some references considered adult.
Wal-Mart said that it's the company's long-standing policy not to stock any CD with a parental advisory sticker.
"As with all music, it is up to the artist or label to decide if they want to market different variations of an album to sell, including a version that would remove a PA rating," Wal-Mart spokeswoman Melissa O'Brien said. "The label and artist in this case have decided not to do so, so we unfortunately can not offer the CD."
But bassist Mike Dirnt said: "As the biggest record store in the America,they should probably have an obligation to sell people the correct art."
Not being sold at Wal-Mart didn't stop the band — which kicks off a U.S. tour summer tour in Seattle on July 3 — from landing at the top of the album charts this week. "21st Century Breakdown" sold about 215,000 copies since it's debut on Friday.
The album is the follow-up to their multiplatinum, Grammy-winning CD "American Idiot," and like that album, deals with weighty topics. While "American Idiot" spoke to the frustration over the presidency of George W. Bush and the Iraq War, this CD speaks to the loss of innocence and confusion in today's society.
While Armstrong, Dirnt and drummer Tre Cool are still top-sellers without Wal-Mart, Armstrong said the store's policy is disappointing, considering it has become the dominant seller of CDs with the decline of traditional music stores.
"If you think about bands that are struggling or smaller than Green Day ... to think that to get your record out in places like that, but they won't carry it because of the content and you have to censor yourself," he said. "I mean, what does that say to a young kid who's trying to speak his mind making a record for the first time? It's like a game that you have to play. You have to refuse to play it."
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Terminator Quiz
Terminator Salvation opens today -- Thursday, May 21st. Here's a quiz to test your knowledge of the series....
1. True or false: Terminator Salvation is the first Terminator film to receive a PG-13 rating?
(ANSWER: True, the others were rated R)
2. Which Terminator director has the most Oscars: James Cameron, Jonathan Moscow, or McG?
(ANSWER: James Cameron, with 3)
3. What Terminator Director also co-wrote Terminator, T2: Judgment Day, T3: Rise of the Machines,and The Sarah Connor Chronicles?
(ANSWER: James Cameron)
4. In Terminator Salvation, Christian Bale plays John Connor. Who Played John Connor in T3: Rise of the Machines: Edward Furlong, Thomas Dekker, Nick Stahl, or John DiVito?
(ANSWER: Nick Stahl)
5. Christian Bale went "psycho" on crewmember Shane Hurlbut during filming because he interrupted his scene. How many times during his 3 minute, 49 second rant does Bale say the "F" word: 10, 25, 35, or 40?
(ANSWER: 40)
6. What was Shane Hurlbut's job on set: Stage Lighting, Director of Photography, Director of Sound, or Script Supervisor?
(ANSWER: Director of Photography)
7. When Bale was nine years old, his first professional acting job was a commercial for which cereal: Donkey Kong, Nintendo, or Pac Man?
(ANSWER: Pac Man)
8. Bale's stepmother is a famous feminist. Is she: Judy Chicago, Germaine Greer, Angela Grimke, or Gloria Steinem?
(ANSWER: Gloria Steinem)
9. Christian Bale is famous for the role of Batman in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. What other Salvation co-star has starred in a movie about a comic hero?
(ANSWER: Bryce Dallas Howard played Gwen Stacy in Spider-man 3)
10. Bryce Dallas Howard plays Kate Brewster in the film. What actress originally played Kate Brewster: Claire Danes, Tilda Swinton, or Wynonna Ryder?
(ANSWER: Claire Danes)
11. Anton Yelchin is in two major motion picture releases this month. Terminator Salvation, in which he plays Kyle Reese, and one other film. Name it and his character?
(ANSWER: Star Trek, in which he plays Ensign Pavel Chekov)
12. True or false: This is the first Terminator venue not to star Earl Boen as Dr. Peter Silberman?
(ANSWER: True)
13. What is the name of the material that the T-1000 is made of: Metallic hyper-alloy, mimetic poly-alloy, amorphous metallic-alloy, or nanomorph liquid-alloy?
(ANSWER: Mimetic poly-alloy)
14. In Terminator 3, the T-X's mission is to kill who: John Connor, Kate Brewster, Leaders of the Human Resistance, or all of these?
(ANSWER: All of these)
15. Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous the quote, "I'll be back" in the Terminator films. True or false: Christian Bale utters this famous line in Salvation?
(ANSWER: True)
16. Which model Terminator was sent to kill Sarah Conner in 1984: T-101, T-800, T-801, or T-850?
(ANSWER: T-101)
17. Who turned down the role of the Terminator in the first film: Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, or Kevin Costner?
(ANSWER: Mel Gibson)
18. True or false: Producers also considered O.J. Simpson for the role of the Terminator, but decided people wouldn't believe him as a killer?
(ANSWER: True)
19. Sam Worthington plays character Marcus Wright. True or false: Josh Brolin was originally asked to play the role of Marcus Wright?"
(ANSWER: True)
20. In the first Terminator movie, the Terminator travels back to 1984 from what year: 1999, 2019, 2029, or 2039?
(ANSWER: 2029)
1. True or false: Terminator Salvation is the first Terminator film to receive a PG-13 rating?
(ANSWER: True, the others were rated R)
2. Which Terminator director has the most Oscars: James Cameron, Jonathan Moscow, or McG?
(ANSWER: James Cameron, with 3)
3. What Terminator Director also co-wrote Terminator, T2: Judgment Day, T3: Rise of the Machines,and The Sarah Connor Chronicles?
(ANSWER: James Cameron)
4. In Terminator Salvation, Christian Bale plays John Connor. Who Played John Connor in T3: Rise of the Machines: Edward Furlong, Thomas Dekker, Nick Stahl, or John DiVito?
(ANSWER: Nick Stahl)
5. Christian Bale went "psycho" on crewmember Shane Hurlbut during filming because he interrupted his scene. How many times during his 3 minute, 49 second rant does Bale say the "F" word: 10, 25, 35, or 40?
(ANSWER: 40)
6. What was Shane Hurlbut's job on set: Stage Lighting, Director of Photography, Director of Sound, or Script Supervisor?
(ANSWER: Director of Photography)
7. When Bale was nine years old, his first professional acting job was a commercial for which cereal: Donkey Kong, Nintendo, or Pac Man?
(ANSWER: Pac Man)
8. Bale's stepmother is a famous feminist. Is she: Judy Chicago, Germaine Greer, Angela Grimke, or Gloria Steinem?
(ANSWER: Gloria Steinem)
9. Christian Bale is famous for the role of Batman in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. What other Salvation co-star has starred in a movie about a comic hero?
(ANSWER: Bryce Dallas Howard played Gwen Stacy in Spider-man 3)
10. Bryce Dallas Howard plays Kate Brewster in the film. What actress originally played Kate Brewster: Claire Danes, Tilda Swinton, or Wynonna Ryder?
(ANSWER: Claire Danes)
11. Anton Yelchin is in two major motion picture releases this month. Terminator Salvation, in which he plays Kyle Reese, and one other film. Name it and his character?
(ANSWER: Star Trek, in which he plays Ensign Pavel Chekov)
12. True or false: This is the first Terminator venue not to star Earl Boen as Dr. Peter Silberman?
(ANSWER: True)
13. What is the name of the material that the T-1000 is made of: Metallic hyper-alloy, mimetic poly-alloy, amorphous metallic-alloy, or nanomorph liquid-alloy?
(ANSWER: Mimetic poly-alloy)
14. In Terminator 3, the T-X's mission is to kill who: John Connor, Kate Brewster, Leaders of the Human Resistance, or all of these?
(ANSWER: All of these)
15. Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous the quote, "I'll be back" in the Terminator films. True or false: Christian Bale utters this famous line in Salvation?
(ANSWER: True)
16. Which model Terminator was sent to kill Sarah Conner in 1984: T-101, T-800, T-801, or T-850?
(ANSWER: T-101)
17. Who turned down the role of the Terminator in the first film: Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Clint Eastwood, or Kevin Costner?
(ANSWER: Mel Gibson)
18. True or false: Producers also considered O.J. Simpson for the role of the Terminator, but decided people wouldn't believe him as a killer?
(ANSWER: True)
19. Sam Worthington plays character Marcus Wright. True or false: Josh Brolin was originally asked to play the role of Marcus Wright?"
(ANSWER: True)
20. In the first Terminator movie, the Terminator travels back to 1984 from what year: 1999, 2019, 2029, or 2039?
(ANSWER: 2029)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Who's a better driver?
(Premiere Prep)
MEN VS. WOMEN BEHIND THE WHEEL
Almost every man will tell you that they are a better driver than their wife or girlfriend.
Most of us can spot a woman driver a mile away, unable to parallel park, swerving around as if they're in la-la land.
Statistically, men can claim that they're better drivers, because women are 12% more likely than men to crash.
On the other hand, men have higher rates of fatal crashes than women.
Men are also less likely to use seatbelts, more likely to drive while impaired by alcohol, and more likely to exceed the speed limit.
MEN VS. WOMEN BEHIND THE WHEEL
Almost every man will tell you that they are a better driver than their wife or girlfriend.
Most of us can spot a woman driver a mile away, unable to parallel park, swerving around as if they're in la-la land.
Statistically, men can claim that they're better drivers, because women are 12% more likely than men to crash.
On the other hand, men have higher rates of fatal crashes than women.
Men are also less likely to use seatbelts, more likely to drive while impaired by alcohol, and more likely to exceed the speed limit.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Think You Can??
(Premiere Prep)
10 THINGS YOU THINK YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
1. Get the hottest chick in the room
2. Fight the biggest guy in the room
3. Dance
4. Have an in-depth conversation ... about anything
5. Sing Karaoke
6. Persuade bartenders/liquor stores to serve you after closing time
7. Out-run the cops
8. Fall down three flights of stairs without hurting yourself
9. Call up your ex
10. Find your house
10 THINGS YOU THINK YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
1. Get the hottest chick in the room
2. Fight the biggest guy in the room
3. Dance
4. Have an in-depth conversation ... about anything
5. Sing Karaoke
6. Persuade bartenders/liquor stores to serve you after closing time
7. Out-run the cops
8. Fall down three flights of stairs without hurting yourself
9. Call up your ex
10. Find your house
Monday, May 4, 2009
Weirdest Names
(Metro UK)
"The top 10 weirdest names"
With the news today that a woman who changed her name to Pudsey Bear has been denied a passport - on the grounds that her new name was 'frivolous' - we look back on the of the most bizarre naming strategies people have adopted:
1. Gordon Alistair Darling-Brown
A man accused of filling Bristol Crown Court with a the smell of garlic appeared in court under a new name - Gordon Alistair Darling-Brown.
2. Zealand-New
A baby girl born in New Zealand was lumbered with a name that will haunt her in later life, after her parents decided to call her Zealand-New. The girl's name was the suggestion of her grandmother, Sharron Te Moni, who explained: 'I was fiddling around and it was something different to say it back to front.'
3. CutoutDissection.com
In a move that she will definitely not regret later in life, a North Carolina teenager changed her name to that of a website, and is now legally called CutoutDissection.com. The former Jennifer Thornburg - whose driver's license now reads Dissection.com, Cutout - wanted to do something to protest animal dissections in schools.
4. Dixon and Willoughby Partin
The Mad Max-ification of the United States took a step forward when a Florida man has won £50 worth of petrol by agreeing to name his unborn son after a pair of radio DJs. The radio station was offering free petrol to the listener with the most interesting item to trade - and hosts Richard Dixon and J Willoughby took Orlando resident David Partin's deal.
5. Big Crazy Lester
A sales assistant named Joel Whittle woke up after a heavy drinking session to find he was not himself – he had changed his name by deed poll to Big Crazy Lester. He said he had no plans to change it back.
6. "The" Dan Miller Experience
Once, he was plain Dan Miller. But then the 24-year-old, from Akron, Ohio, has legally changed his name to "The" Dan Miller Experience. His first name is now "The" Dan (with the quotation marks), while his middle name is Miller and his last name is Experience. ''My first reaction was that this guy was going to have some problems with Homeland Security,' said the magistrate who approved the change.
7. Ynot Bubba
An American man formerly named Justin Brady convinced a judge to let him change his name, so his now legally known as 'Ynot Bubba'. He did not give a clear reason for why he decided to change his name.
8. "@"
A Chinese couple seeking a distinctive name for their child chose the commonly used typographic symbol '@' - much to the consternation of Chinese officials - on the grounds that "the whole world uses it to write e-mails and translated into Chinese it means 'love him."'
9. Metallica
A couple in Sweden fight a legal battle for the right to name their daughter 'Metallica' - as Sweden's tax authority has the right to rule babies' names unsuitable (they've since relaxed those rules a bit.)
10. Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined
A teenager - formerly George Garratt - claimed to have the longest name in the world after changing his name to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. However, he looks likely to have been beaten by Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown, a 1-year-old from Wolverhampton, whose parents sensibly decided to giver her 25 middle names.
"The top 10 weirdest names"
With the news today that a woman who changed her name to Pudsey Bear has been denied a passport - on the grounds that her new name was 'frivolous' - we look back on the of the most bizarre naming strategies people have adopted:
1. Gordon Alistair Darling-Brown
A man accused of filling Bristol Crown Court with a the smell of garlic appeared in court under a new name - Gordon Alistair Darling-Brown.
2. Zealand-New
A baby girl born in New Zealand was lumbered with a name that will haunt her in later life, after her parents decided to call her Zealand-New. The girl's name was the suggestion of her grandmother, Sharron Te Moni, who explained: 'I was fiddling around and it was something different to say it back to front.'
3. CutoutDissection.com
In a move that she will definitely not regret later in life, a North Carolina teenager changed her name to that of a website, and is now legally called CutoutDissection.com. The former Jennifer Thornburg - whose driver's license now reads Dissection.com, Cutout - wanted to do something to protest animal dissections in schools.
4. Dixon and Willoughby Partin
The Mad Max-ification of the United States took a step forward when a Florida man has won £50 worth of petrol by agreeing to name his unborn son after a pair of radio DJs. The radio station was offering free petrol to the listener with the most interesting item to trade - and hosts Richard Dixon and J Willoughby took Orlando resident David Partin's deal.
5. Big Crazy Lester
A sales assistant named Joel Whittle woke up after a heavy drinking session to find he was not himself – he had changed his name by deed poll to Big Crazy Lester. He said he had no plans to change it back.
6. "The" Dan Miller Experience
Once, he was plain Dan Miller. But then the 24-year-old, from Akron, Ohio, has legally changed his name to "The" Dan Miller Experience. His first name is now "The" Dan (with the quotation marks), while his middle name is Miller and his last name is Experience. ''My first reaction was that this guy was going to have some problems with Homeland Security,' said the magistrate who approved the change.
7. Ynot Bubba
An American man formerly named Justin Brady convinced a judge to let him change his name, so his now legally known as 'Ynot Bubba'. He did not give a clear reason for why he decided to change his name.
8. "@"
A Chinese couple seeking a distinctive name for their child chose the commonly used typographic symbol '@' - much to the consternation of Chinese officials - on the grounds that "the whole world uses it to write e-mails and translated into Chinese it means 'love him."'
9. Metallica
A couple in Sweden fight a legal battle for the right to name their daughter 'Metallica' - as Sweden's tax authority has the right to rule babies' names unsuitable (they've since relaxed those rules a bit.)
10. Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined
A teenager - formerly George Garratt - claimed to have the longest name in the world after changing his name to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. However, he looks likely to have been beaten by Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown, a 1-year-old from Wolverhampton, whose parents sensibly decided to giver her 25 middle names.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Best Boobs! (the good kind)
(Access Hollywood)
Scarlett Johansson's breasts have been given the official nod as the best in Hollywood. Jessica Simpson, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek and Jennifer Love Hewitt all made the top five.
Scarlett Johansson has the best boobs? What decided this? Did Access Hollywood get to see the "whole thing"??? If so, can I see?
Scarlett Johansson's breasts have been given the official nod as the best in Hollywood. Jessica Simpson, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek and Jennifer Love Hewitt all made the top five.
Scarlett Johansson has the best boobs? What decided this? Did Access Hollywood get to see the "whole thing"??? If so, can I see?
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