Dealing with women is brutal. The sands are constantly shifting -- and guys are always at risk of getting shut out in the bedroom for doing or saying the wrong thing.
Here are some guidelines for men to live with women somewhat successfully:
Call.
Don't lie.
The correct answer to, "Do I look fat?" is never, ever, "Yes."
The same is true for, "Is she prettier than me?"
None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
Her cooking is excellent.
Answering, "Who was that on the phone?" with, "Nobody," is never going to end that conversation.
Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
You're wrong.
You're sorry.
"Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad.
Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it -- just do it.
If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
Always, always suck up to her brother.
Her haircut is never bad.
Don't let your friends pick on her.
